Midnight Sweethearts

By Deborrah Cooper

 Before a man can truly love a woman, his respect for her must be at level 8 or above (on a scale of 1-10). But even before a man can truly love and respect you, you must love and respect YOURSELF!

Remember, like is drawn to like.

To have high self esteem means to feel competent and worthy, to respect and stand up for your interests

and needs and to cope with the challenges of life.

Those with high self-esteem are ambitious and embrace their experiences in life emotionally, creatively, and spiritually. The higher our self esteem, the more

likely we are to treat others with respect, kindness and consideration since we do not perceive them as a

threat to our peace of mind or security.

On the other hand, having low self esteem means that you suffer from feelings of inadequacy, insecurity,

self-doubt, guilt, and fear. You are more likely to enter into destructive relationships. You may recognize

that in the back of your mind a nasty little voice constantly reminds you that you are “not enough.”

Those with low self-esteem may also be arrogant, boastful, or overstate their abilities in an attempt to “puff themselves up.” Those with low self-esteem frequently attempt to glorify themselves at the expense of others by verbally discounting, mistreating, or physically abusing them in an effort to feel more powerful or elevate themselves.

Know When to Get Out or Just Say NO!

How we feel about OURSELVES affects virtually every aspect of our lives - from the way we function at

work, in love, in sex, to the way we operate as parents. And (excluding mental, emotional or physical

problems that are biological in origin) most of the social ills and personal problems we suffer originate in an environment of low self esteem: alcohol and drug abuse, underachievement, spousal battering, child

molestation, sexual dysfunction, emotional immaturity, suicide, and setting ourselves up to be used.

For those of you that call yourself having a man but still spend important holidays alone; have a man that

you have been dating for years that refuses to marry you; have a man in your life that doesn’t open doors or

pull out your chair for you or treat you like a lady; or have a husband that cheats whenever he gets ready

with no fear of repercussions - know that somewhere down the line you have failed one or more of his

tests.

If your man has changed in his treatment towards you and no longer treats you as special and important as he did previously that means he is probably not ready to leave the relationship completely yet, but he has already moved you out of the running as a serious contender for his affections. In his mind he already decided that the relationship wasn’t going anywhere.”

He may feel he does not have to treat you like a lady because in some way you have disappointed him and convinced him that you don’t deserve to be treated with high regard.

In these cases, I would recommend that you recognize this relationship will NEVER fulfill your needs. No matter how painful the loss may seem, it is best to abandon that relationship and start fresh with another man.

Take Responsibility For Your Choices and

Become a Winner in the Game of Love!

We make choices every day of our lives. Admittedly, some of the choices we make are not in our best

interest over the long run. Perhaps these imprudent choices are dictated, not by thoughtful respect for

ourselves, but instead by the desire for immediate gratification, a sense of desperation, a refusal to accept reality, or plain old low self esteem.

And even though (as stated by Carl Jung) “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases,” it is my firm belief that a woman who thought highly of and valued herself, her sexuality and her heart would not engage in the behaviors associated with being a ‘ho.

By using the tests outlined above as a guideline, you can quickly determine where you have been going wrong

in your dealings with men and adjust your program accordingly to develop the relationship of your dreams.

By behaving in a way that commands respect from the men you meet, you will win the right man’s respect,

admiration, heart and ultimately his undying devotion.

(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 7:00 pm PST.

Understanding Why People Cheat
By rodrigo rehn

 If you are cheating you may have your reasons for doing it, most people do. If you are being cheated on you may be wondering what you have done wrong or what has happened in the relationship to cause your spouse to cheat. There are some very common reasons that people cheat, and though these are not the only reasons to step outside of a marriage they are some of the most commonly named. These common reasons for cheating are often:

Many people say that they began cheating because their needs were not being met by their partner so they looked outside the marriage.

A lot of people cheat because they didn’t understand or respect the boundaries that were associated with their marriage. Many people who cheat have never been able to operate within boundaries in any aspect of their life.

Often people site cheating because they wanted some excitement in their life, which they found they can get through an affair.Quite a few people say that they cheat because the opportunity was presented to them and they couldn’t turn it down.

A lot of people cheat because they have low self esteem and having sex with another person is their way of seeking for approval.Sex is a big issue in a lot of relationships and a lot of cheaters site this as their main reason for cheating. Either there was not enough sex or not the kind of sex that the cheater wanted.

A lot of people site that they cheated because they wanted to feel wanted or special and their spouse was no longer doing this for them. Some people simply lack commitment to their relationship or their partner and so they cheat because they can.

There are a lot of different reasons that people cheat and generally they are not the same from one affair to another. Regardless of the reason, most people who cheat do it because they have problem or a perceived problem and they believe that going outside of the relationship is the way that they can solve this problem for themselves. This almost never works out like they hoped that it would and affairs almost always create a whole new group of problems.

If you have cheated or you have been cheated on you should know that why the affair has taken place really isn’t all that important. The reason is that even if someone cheats again they may not cheat for the same reason. If you want to repair your relationship after an affair you both have to be willing to work for it and you need to be committed to relationship first and foremost.

When you work on commitment you will find that neither person is as likely to cheat because there is a true loyalty to the relationship. Recovering from an affair is really difficult, so make sure that both of you want to be in on this recovery process, otherwise you are just wasting your time.

Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance personal ads for singles.

Your Source For Finding Love Online

Marriage - Let’s Go Back to the Beginning
By Julia Solomon

 As every problem had a beginning, so did everything of a positive nature! Unfortunately, when many people set themselves to the task of trying to “fix” a failing marriage, they neglect to look at the initial positives– all of those wonderful assets which were there at the very beginning of their marriage, and even prior to their marriage!

This is a mistake, when you are honestly looking at the problems which have arisen in your marriage which you need to resolve, it is essential to also remind yourself and your spouse of all of the positive strengths, qualities, and characteristics which brought you together in the first place!

Whether you have been married for a year or twenty years, this factor is equally relevant to all who seriously wish to improve their marriage. The reason for this should be obvious, while working through and resolving your difficulties is necessary, placing some focus and emphasis on your relationship’s initial strengths is the main factor which will help you to strengthen it now and for the future.

What brought you and your spouse together? What accounted for you and this person making the decision to spend the rest of your lives together? Whether you and your spouse were starry-eyed young people who married after knowing each other for a very brief period of time, or whether you had been in each other’s lives for many years, let your memory take you back to your beginning.

What qualities or characteristics did you find the most appealing in your spouse? What kinds of goals, hopes, plans and dreams did you both share? As each person is an individual, the answers to these questions will be equally individual– and they are as relevant to reconstructing the strengths and the joys in your marriage as any questions and answers you can possibly ask yourself!

No matter how hopeless your situation may seem, taking this little trip down Memory Lane is one of the most important steps you can take in reconstructing your marriage. It is quite likely that you will find that the factors which influenced your decision to marry still do exist– they just need to be noticed again and made fresh, all over again!

While you are thinking about these factors, you may also find yourself recalling many things which you and your spouse shared back then. You may have loved taking part in some kind of activity that you both enjoyed, for example, but somewhere along the line other priorities started to take precedence and you no longer had time for it.

When you are planning to reconstruct your marriage, another strength which you can build on are those shared interests. Whether you and your spouse liked to participate in a sport, attend rock concerts, have picnics in the park on Sunday afternoons, those activities which you both mutually enjoyed were bonding experiences– and there is no reason why you cannot do them now!

The purpose in going back to your beginning is to assess both the strengths which contributed to your marriage and the interests which you had in common. In doing so, you will recall the passion which you both had for your relationship and for each other. And when you can recall your initial passions, you will then be in a position to reclaim them– the favorite pastimes, the goals and dreams, they are all still there, waiting to be uncovered and appreciated again!

Read about relationship breakup and trust in a relationship at the Relationship Guide website.

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