Midnight Sweethearts

By Deborrah Cooper

 Being “in love” is the romantic stuff fairy tales and dreams are based on, filled with passion and longing. Children are raised on stories filled with instant attraction, romantic longing, danger and high drama - where the valiant Prince/King/Knight/Pauper saves somebody’s Princess/Queen/Daughter, falls in love with her beauty, and they marry to live happily ever after. We grow up to believe that having a relationship is going to save us from a lifetime of loneliness or pain, and make all our troubles disappear.

For most, falling in love is an experience to be treasured as both scary and exhilarating. When we are in love our senses are stimulated to the maximum. The phrase “chemistry” has special meaning because we feel a tingle, a spark, an aliveness that we don’t feel under any other circumstances. The sight, sound or touch of our beloved makes our heart jump. We get exasperated, frustrated, and feel somewhat off-center because of our doubts and questions, but, like an addict, we cannot get enough!

This feeling of insecurity about where we stand, coupled with the desire to win the heart of our intended is the Petri dish where the love bug and wild passion are cultivated!

Typical behaviors involve an inability to stop thinking of our new love, wondering how he or she feels about us. We’re on edge, anticipating that first kiss, the first touch, the first night together. We wonder what our partner is doing, thinking, saying without us. Our days are filled with longing and our nights with passionate sex. With just a look, the desire to touch, kiss, hold is immediate. Sometimes we can’t keep our hands off each other.

Some of us will lose all sense of self when we are in love, spending hours plotting with friends on how to keep our beloved focused on us, marriage, commitment, and in love with us. Many people claim to be helplessly in love with people they don’t like very much, have nothing in common with, don’t know at all, or know for a fact doesn’t love them back… but decide they are madly in love anyway!

Digesting my long-winded definition of “in love” we come out with this: When she says that she loves you, but isn’t IN LOVE with you, that means that she cares, doesn’t want to see anything happen bad to you, she has affection for you, she may even respect and admire you, but she has absolutely no passionate desire for sexual intimacy. In other words, she cares for you like a brother. You are in THE FRIEND ZONE.

Being in love is truly wonderful, and an important part of creating a loving relationship. But if you don’t have feelings like THAT for your partner, does it mean that a relationship doesn’t have the capability to be rewarding, satisfying and long-term?

Well, that all depends on what you are looking for in a relationship.

Romantic personalities often expect life to imitate art. These people seek to find what they call “my soul mate” and believe that immediately and passionate attraction is the only basis to begin a relationship. One guy explained to me: “I want to feel that she is perfect, and feel myself light up when she comes into the room.”

These people are often disappointed and then feel cheated and depressed when their lover’s true human qualities come to the fore. It is inevitable that any woman this guy meets is NOT going to be the Perfect Princess of the fairy stories and his real life relationships will always prove to be a disappointment.

Realistic personalities are wise enough to know that basing your relationships on the “in love” feelings and abandoning the relationship when those feelings ebb like the tide is not the wisest decision.

To truly love someone takes time.

You cannot love someone for who and what they are when you met them 10 minutes ago, have sent emails back and forth but never met or dated, or that you’ve never seen angry. Likewise, you cannot love someone for who and what they are if you aren’t honest with them about who and what YOU are. “Love” under those circumstances is just an illusion.

When you have had a few ups and downs, and share a bond created by affection, commitment, caring, security and trust, then you have love. Relationships where love rules provide a warm place to become vulnerable. Love creates in us a willingness to share of ourselves and our lives. We are an open book, risking hurt and heartbreak, trusting that the benefits of loving this person will far outweigh the risk!

You may be one of the lucky ones that loves someone you are also deeply in love with. However, you may be caught up in a romantic soap opera, in love with someone you know will never, ever really love you back. Sadly, not everyone we find ourselves “in love” with is a solid prospect for a loving relationship.

Let’s hope that you never hear the words “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” and that you are instead the recipient of passionate love, commitment and romance… the stuff that dreams are made of!

(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 7:00 pm PST.

Your Source For Finding Love Online

Teen Dating-A Safe Place For Teens!
By Kelly Purden

 Undoubtedly, in the net today, there are so many teens that are also looking for love. For some parents this circumstance can be nerve-racking especially if the person your teen-ager is dating a stranger. Teen-agers are usually vulnerable and impulsive that is why if they are not properly guided when it comes to teen dating techniques, most probably they will end up miserable. But as a parent, no need for you to worry anymore because there are so many techniques that you can do so your teen-ager can have a safe and fun teen dating experience.

Today, there are so many dating sites that cater the adults; however, there are also teen dating sites where the young adults can join. This is one of the safest ways to enjoy teen dating especially if you are the kind of person who is not yet ready for serious dating. Online teen dating can be fun because you get to talk to your prospect date without the fear of getting close physically to him. When you are on an online teen dating site and chartrooms, it is important that you say your age honestly because if you state your true age, and when the people you are chatting with will know that you are just a teen-ager, chances are they will treat you well for fear that they will be in trouble if they do otherwise.

Teen dating should not be tricky nowadays because there are so many cool places that your teen-agers can go to in order for them to have the most memorable date of their life. If you want to keep it safe and fun at the same time, the best way to achieve this is to have double dates. Ask some of your trusted friends to go with you on dual date. And when it comes to spots where to go, one of the best choices is the public park. In Public Parks there is a good chance that your date will not do something bad towards you because there are so many people around you.

Another place that is safe when it comes to teen dating is in your own home. It is very beneficial not only for your teen-ager but for you as well because you will not have to stress yourself thinking about them while they are gone. The parents can be able to supervise the activities that the teens are doing. Teenagers can do a lot of things in their house; if you like baking, ask your date to lend you a hand as you embark on your baking endeavour. This way, you will also find out if the person you are dating will be a good boyfriend.

Teen dating stage is an important event of anyone’s life that’s why it should be given extra attention because if the parents fail to address some of the problems that are associated in teen dating, it could end in a miserable situation. There are so many possibilities that could go wrong if the teen dating process goes wrong.

Want a FREE Award Winning guide on How To Get Women Quickly? Visit http://www.OnlineAttractionSecrets.com to receive Kelly’s FREE quick start guide on teen dating.

Relationships - We Can’t Continue to Do What We’ve Been Doing!
By Ken Donaldson

 Statistics also show nearly one third of American women report being exposed to some type of abuse at the hands of the significant other in their committed relationships.

In reality, one out of every three is a conservative figure, since the majority of abuse is never reported. These harsh statistics tell us that men (and women) are abusing the very people they say they love, which makes no rational or relational sense at all.

As if divorce and abuse were not enough, individuals are descending farther into addictive behaviors. We’re not only divorcing ourselves from others; through these behaviors we are also divorcing ourselves from ourselves.

We’re not only abusing and being abused by others, we’re also abusing ourselves. Research indicates approximately 10% of the population is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. The National Institute on Drug Abuse estimates the total economic cost of drug and alcohol abuse in the United States in the 90s was over $250 billion per year.

The impact of the “lesser” addictions of gambling, excessive spending, over-eating, compulsive sex, and cyber-based addictions (internet, video games, etc.) and their cost to society are too vast to even measure right now.

We’ve developed some extremely poor habits and we obviously lack appropriate coping mechanisms.

Will you change for the better or be changed by this negative cycle?

Furthermore (Yes…there’s more bad news!) about 10% of our population suffers from depression. Depression is the epitome of people being disconnected from themselves.

People experiencing depression, many of whom don’t even know or acknowledge this ailment, live in negative energy which inevitably creates more negativity. Without proper intervention depressed people spiral further away from themselves and others.

The inherent nature of depression is such that those afflicted are often so focused on the negative aspects of themselves, on how bad they feel and how bad their life is, that they often miss the good when it does arrive in their lives.

Depressed people don’t notice the beauty of a sunset, the humor of a joke or the warm smile of another. Depression completely disconnects one from one’s true self.

It is long overdue; it’s time to deliver the message: Marry Your Self First!

Today’s educational system emphasizes, to the exclusion of almost everything else, the three Rs of reading, writing and arithmetic. Will these three Rs stop divorce, abuse, addiction or depression? No, of course not.

We need a far greater emphasis on the fourth R - Relationships - to make a difference in the quality of young people’s lives and futures. Through relationship education we can and will create happy individuals equipped for successful lives.

Point is: Men and women today have not been relationally educated. Many come from broken families, and even those who come from intact families may not have had the best role models.

Today, many people unconsciously default to the media (TV, books and movies) as their primary relationship role models. You and I both know this is often the farthest thing from reality. People just don’t know where else to turn for help.

Yes, to stop all this dysfunction and improve our relational intelligence we must all be willing to subscribe to philosophy and practice of healthy relationship choices and the skills which will support those healthy choices.

This starts with you knowing yourself first and foremost!

How? Choose to Marry Your Self First!…and you’ll discover the following:

* Know and live your life purpose.

* Understand and utilize the Law of Attraction and the Law of Action to generate your greatest abundance and prosperity.

* Know, understand, develop and maintain personal boundaries.

* Practice your unique spirituality and live from your Higher Self.

* Utilize your support network.

* Communicate effectively in all areas of your life.

* Understand the healthy, normal stages of relationships.

* Create a relationship success template to prevent relationship dysfunction.

* Commit to ongoing personal growth.

* Develop stress, priority, and time management mechanisms.

* Accept yourself for exactly who you are, flaws and all.

When you commit to Marry Your Self First, you’ll know who you are, what you want, and the direction of your life. You’ll discover your unique passionate purpose and the amazing prosperity thereof, and with all that you’ll be totally prepared to create relationship bliss.

I invite you NOW to increase your relational intelligence, and expand your relational awareness to create more powerful relationships in your life and to have the most passionate, purposeful and prosperous life you possibly

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

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