Midnight Sweethearts

By Ken Donaldson

 Statistics also show nearly one third of American women report being exposed to some type of abuse at the hands of the significant other in their committed relationships.

In reality, one out of every three is a conservative figure, since the majority of abuse is never reported. These harsh statistics tell us that men (and women) are abusing the very people they say they love, which makes no rational or relational sense at all.

As if divorce and abuse were not enough, individuals are descending farther into addictive behaviors. We’re not only divorcing ourselves from others; through these behaviors we are also divorcing ourselves from ourselves.

We’re not only abusing and being abused by others, we’re also abusing ourselves. Research indicates approximately 10% of the population is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. The National Institute on Drug Abuse estimates the total economic cost of drug and alcohol abuse in the United States in the 90s was over $250 billion per year.

The impact of the “lesser” addictions of gambling, excessive spending, over-eating, compulsive sex, and cyber-based addictions (internet, video games, etc.) and their cost to society are too vast to even measure right now.

We’ve developed some extremely poor habits and we obviously lack appropriate coping mechanisms.

Will you change for the better or be changed by this negative cycle?

Furthermore (Yes…there’s more bad news!) about 10% of our population suffers from depression. Depression is the epitome of people being disconnected from themselves.

People experiencing depression, many of whom don’t even know or acknowledge this ailment, live in negative energy which inevitably creates more negativity. Without proper intervention depressed people spiral further away from themselves and others.

The inherent nature of depression is such that those afflicted are often so focused on the negative aspects of themselves, on how bad they feel and how bad their life is, that they often miss the good when it does arrive in their lives.

Depressed people don’t notice the beauty of a sunset, the humor of a joke or the warm smile of another. Depression completely disconnects one from one’s true self.

It is long overdue; it’s time to deliver the message: Marry Your Self First!

Today’s educational system emphasizes, to the exclusion of almost everything else, the three Rs of reading, writing and arithmetic. Will these three Rs stop divorce, abuse, addiction or depression? No, of course not.

We need a far greater emphasis on the fourth R - Relationships - to make a difference in the quality of young people’s lives and futures. Through relationship education we can and will create happy individuals equipped for successful lives.

Point is: Men and women today have not been relationally educated. Many come from broken families, and even those who come from intact families may not have had the best role models.

Today, many people unconsciously default to the media (TV, books and movies) as their primary relationship role models. You and I both know this is often the farthest thing from reality. People just don’t know where else to turn for help.

Yes, to stop all this dysfunction and improve our relational intelligence we must all be willing to subscribe to philosophy and practice of healthy relationship choices and the skills which will support those healthy choices.

This starts with you knowing yourself first and foremost!

How? Choose to Marry Your Self First!…and you’ll discover the following:

* Know and live your life purpose.

* Understand and utilize the Law of Attraction and the Law of Action to generate your greatest abundance and prosperity.

* Know, understand, develop and maintain personal boundaries.

* Practice your unique spirituality and live from your Higher Self.

* Utilize your support network.

* Communicate effectively in all areas of your life.

* Understand the healthy, normal stages of relationships.

* Create a relationship success template to prevent relationship dysfunction.

* Commit to ongoing personal growth.

* Develop stress, priority, and time management mechanisms.

* Accept yourself for exactly who you are, flaws and all.

When you commit to Marry Your Self First, you’ll know who you are, what you want, and the direction of your life. You’ll discover your unique passionate purpose and the amazing prosperity thereof, and with all that you’ll be totally prepared to create relationship bliss.

I invite you NOW to increase your relational intelligence, and expand your relational awareness to create more powerful relationships in your life and to have the most passionate, purposeful and prosperous life you possibly

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

Relationship Coach Recommends These 10 Steps to Keep Your Relationship Healthy
By Jack Ito

 There are two times that people put the most effort into a relationship–at the beginning, and at the end. At the beginning, we want so much to spend time together that we will make time to do whatever it takes. At the end of a relationship, we spend a lot of effort just to keep ourselves together while our relationship is falling apart. Many people learn too late that the most important time to work on a relationship is . . . every day. Because, while choosing a good partner is essential, just committing to someone does not ensure years of happiness.

To continue to reap the rewards of a great relationship, there is a continual amount of work that must be done. Just as a farmer cannot sow his seeds and sit back until they mature, so it is that we cannot expect an initial commitment to carry us to a great relationship.

Following these 10 steps will help to keep your relationship healthy and thriving:

1. Give and take–Couples who have been married 50 years or more say that the number one reason their marriages have survived is “give and take.” There are times that our needs must be met, but there are also times when we need to sacrifice for the sake of our partner (and our relationship).

2. Dating–Dating is not just for meeting people. It is the number one ingredient in keeping a marriage fun. The more children there are in a relationship, the greater the need for dating. Dating can be defined as doing something enjoyable with your partner, outside the home, without the kids. One time a week is minimal for most couples.

3. Love is given–Love needs to be demonstrated in ways that are perceived as loving by our partner. Just to feel like we love our partner is not enough to keep their love tank full. For some, loving is receiving gifts or favors; for others physical touch or sex; and for others it is doing activities together. Just because we like something doesn’t mean our partner does. Love must be given in a way that it can be received.

4. Trust is earned–Without trust there can be no intimacy in a relationship. Trust, unlike love, is not given but can only be earned. We earn our partner’s trust by following through on our commitments and consistently behaving in a way that is good for our relationship.

5. Communicate honestly–Lack of honest communication indicates lack of trust or insecurity. Either is detrimental to a relationship. To be honest with each other means that there must be a freedom to express ideas that your partner does not like and does not have to like. When we agree that listening does not necessitate agreement, it is easier to be open and honest with each other.

6. Use the power of visualization–We can only achieve what we can conceive. The way you think about your partner and your future together will impact the way you feel and behave toward each other. Negative images must lead to corrective action or be replaced with positive ones. Positive thinking about your partner puts a gleam in your eye which is apparent to your partner.

7. Make your needs known–Eliminate all complaining by changing your complaints to requests. Requests risk rejection, but complaints guarantee it. Do you really want your spouse to stop watching TV or are you really wanting your spouse to sit and talk with you? Ask your spouse to sit and talk with you rather than complaining about his or her TV viewing.

8. Agree–Rather than listening for the part of what your partner is saying that you disagree with and then debating about it, listen for what your partner is saying that you agree with. Sometimes partners feel like you are looking for something to pick at because you only comment when you disagree. Frequent agreement will make the disagreements more tolerable.

9. Go the extra step–The little bit extra that we do for any job or relationship makes all the difference both in early dating and in maintaining the relationship. Make your spouse’s lunch? Include a little love note. Greet your spouse with a kiss? Kiss his or her neck too. Whatever you do, think about how you can add just a little more to make it special.

10. Make a relationship plan–Living from day to day without any goals for the future leads to routine, stagnation, boredom, or burnout. When you and your partner are working on goals together, you share something that the rest of the world doesn’t have. And that creates a special world for the two of you.

Just as it’s easier to change your car oil than to replace the transmission, so it is easier to work on your relationship before problems occur. Being in love has never been enough to maintain a long term relationship. Doing what it takes to have a good long term relationship, however, will increase your feelings of love. Working one on one with a relationship coach will give you more specific ways to address issues important to your relationship. Success can happen if you make it happen.

Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. For 14 years he has helped more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships.

Start working on your relationship with the Relationship Coach newsletter and a Free Relationship Planning Guide. Visit the Relationship Coach Blog for daily relationship advice.

Your Source For Finding Love Online

Dating Relationship Statistics-The Cold Hard Facts About Dating
By Kelly Purden

 Men and women both have their own standards when it comes to dating. No matter where they are located at, there seems to be a constant pattern that evolves in the dating arena. In general, most men and women are really greatly interested in someone extraordinary that they can be with and spend their life forever and to make their dream a reality, both sexes are willing to broaden their search. To meet the man or woman of their dreams, most of them seek the help of the modern technology - that’s where the online dating comes in. According to one dating relationship statistics less than 50% of men and more than 50% of women from all over the world are dating sites members. That’s a lot! But, really, what are these people looking for in a date?

According to one dating relationship statistics gathered by Paul Rozin - a psychologist, when men were asked what kind of body type they like better in a woman, most of them chose “the average or typical physique”, therefore contradicting the myth that men in general fancy thinner women. Though physical appearance is the initial force that would attract you to someone, this is not always true. Personality is. 67% of men and 86% of women said that they prefer to date somebody who has a bubbly personality.

There is a stereotype in the dating market that says men prefer younger woman. This may be true for some; survey revealed that the age does not matter as long as the older woman is more striking than the younger one. However, almost 40% of women said that they would rather want to date a younger man. Did you know that over 12% of married couples in the United Stated involve older women and younger men?

Intellect, a confident mind-set, and same hobbies in life are also the attributes that singles are looking for in a partner. If you are good-looking but do not possess some of these traits, most probably you will be left out. Well, who would really want to date a person who has below average IQ level? The reason for this is because they want to have a nice conversation with their partner on an equal stage. You will notice that those who are well-educated tend to date women who are also knowledgeable in her own respective field. One of the dating relationship statistics that have already been scientifically confirmed is that those people who are in a healthy relationship are a lot better as far as physical health is concerned, compared to those who are not dating or not in a relationship. As a matter of fact, 9 out of 10 agree that it is healthier to be in a dynamic and faithful relationship than being alone.

Dating relationship statistics also revealed that almost 70 percent of people survey believes in love at first sight. Infidelity gets the highest score when it comes to the cause of a break up with the percentage of more than 50%. That’s a harsh truth considering the fact that almost 50% of these daters are really contemplating of getting married. However, dreadful the dating arena may be and no matter what is the dating relationship statistics reveal, you should not stop looking for that special someone.

You NEED to learn girls rules about dating guys and dating relationship statistics. Go to http://www.OnlineAttractionSecrets.com learn EVERYTHING you need to know for FREE today!

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