Why We Have to To Be Liked. (dating advice)

October 31st, 2009 admin Posted in relationships |

By Emma Summers

One of the basic needs of man is to feel accepted. Knowing this is the secret to establishing and maintaining great relationships with many types of people.

A number of books, articles and seminars have taken the role of enlightening people like you on the different ways of associating with people and building lasting relationships with them. There are a number of things that you can do when associating with other people.

One of these is to make them feel accepted. According to Maslows hierarchy of needs, one of mans basic needs is to feel a sense of belonging to a group. Man feels the sense of belonging in either small groups like a family and small circle of friends, or big groups like clubs, teams, associations, departments and parties.

People have to feel they belong and are needed. One way to express acceptance of peoples ideas is by merely listening. Listening communicates the message that their thoughts are esteemed and their inputs are significant. It answers the very basic need to belong and provides a sense of importance.

Can you relate to any of the following scenarios?

- While sharing an significant insight, somebody would finish off the sentence for you.

- Whilst narrating what happened over the weekend, somebody would butt in and narrate a similar story.

- In a meeting, the boss would cut you short while you are still explaining your side.

- You ask your youngster about his day in school and he runs immediately to his room.

- You wanted to discuss something with your other half but he is busy watching football.

How does this make you feel? Appalling, or what? Its as if you are taken for granted. Its as if no one is listening to you and that you do not matter. It signifies that your thoughts, concerns and ideas are not accepted.At the start of life, an infant can feel this sense of acceptance from a mother who touches and caresses him in a tender way. As he grows older, his sense of approval and importance now comes from other family members, friends, teachers, peers, bosses, officemates, spouse, children, etc. It puts meaning to a persons existence.

Imagine a life with total absence of acceptance. Imagine the life of babies who were abandoned by their mothers. Envisage the outcome this will have on the babies emotional well-being. It is very likely that these children will grow up dejected and feeling discriminated. The effects of discrimination can result in resentment and, if unrestrained, can result to violent tendencies.

The feeling of resentment that is harbored over time can escalate to anger and hostility. When a person becomes antagonistic, violence erupts. Bitterness is like a forest fire - it can go wild specially when fanned with more resentments. The mere well-mannered act of accepting a person can make or break them, as the saying goes.

Acceptance must be done completely. The provider should not expect anything in return. There should be no no strings attached or no commitments to fulfill. To expect something in return defeats the purpose of making others like you. In fact, this may only produce resentment, for it would appear that you are manipulating people by forcing them into a situation they may not like in the future.

Unconditional acceptance of other peoples thoughts, ideas, and concerns can yield favorable outcomes. Acceptance elicits teamwork and this leads to working towards a mutual goal. Acceptance yields positive and rewarding results. At the same time, you have raised the esteem, importance, and morale of the person whom you have accorded respect and acceptance.

Be willing to accept other peoples ideas, thoughts, and inputs. You will produce not only first-rate results, but also the admiration and appreciation of others, as well.

Being accepted in life is what we all strive for and is an necessary step in developing self-confidence. For a complimentary video about growing your confidence further click here http://www.myconfidentlife.com

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