The Appreciation Project (dating advice)

September 22nd, 2009 admin Posted in relationships |

By Morgana Rae A

”Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.” William Shakespeare

First the data: John M. Gottman, PhD, the country’s foremost relationship expert, found that what set apart marriages that succeeded (as opposed to the 67% of first marriages that ended in divorce) was a magic ratio of 5:1 positive to negative interactions. He found that even the smallest gestures counted–a smile, a pat, a “thank you.” This magic ratio isn’t confined to romance. The same story applies to all relationships.*

Here’s my favorite trick for improve the ratio: Appreciation Loops. You can use them any time you like, in any relationship, without conditions. You can feel a shift in the dynamic immediately.

Appreciation loops follow this formula: Take a moment to say to your partner, “What I appreciate about you is…” and fill in the end of the sentence. Honesty is crucial. Try this without planning or even knowing where your sentence is going to end. See what comes up.

The magic of this practice lies in its independence from the other person’s action. Your appreciation is not contingent on your partner’s behavior. You are not saying “I would appreciate you if…” Nothing is more powerful than not trying to change the other.

Instead, appreciation works like a circuit breaker to interrupt negative cycles: “We interrupt this regularly scheduled unhappiness to focus on the positive!”

Notice how challenging this can be in the middle of conflict and insecurity. What becomes possible when you face your partner and say “What I appreciate about you is…”? When you change your focus to the positive, your world changes.

Using this practice when the relationship is already thriving is like building a bank account to draw on later.

“Beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there’s a field. Will you meet me there?”
Rumi

See what happens when you try this formula on three relationships this month:
the relationship you care about the most at this moment,
the relationship that challenges you the most right now,
and the relationship that needs it the least.

Share your discoveries with me at http://www.abundanceandprosperity.com

*This practice is not intended to “fix” a toxic relationship. Any relationship in which violence, drug abuse, or mental health problems are involved needs assistance from appropriate professionals.

Morgana Rae, the Charmed Life Coach and creator of Financial Alchemy, is the world’s top Relationship with Money coach. She is owner of Charmed Life Coaching, a successful life and business coaching company that guides entrepreneurs to attract more than they chase, market effectively and inexpensively, and to enjoy success without sacrificing their humanity. Contact Morgana and grab your FREE MONEY MAGNET MP3 at http://www.abundanceandprosperity.com.

Online Dating Saves Time and Money

By Nair Suresh

Singles men and women confess that they are weary of a trial and error routine for meeting a suitable match. It is sometimes maddening to meet the person face to face only to know that it was a great disappointment. Most folk want to get out of this tiresome routine of dating. It is really difficult for some guys and girls to meet that special one because of work pressure and they have no time for dating. This problem is now solved with the popularity of internet dating. You can meet a number of people from different background.

Well, there is a good chance for saving money and time. When you do not need to go out for meeting a date, you can virtually save a lot of time. You are just sitting in front of your work computer or home computer to find your future partner. Just imaging you are flirting with your dream date while sitting at the coziness of home in your under wears! Yeah, it save a lot of your time and energy to get ready, go out and even travel.

The free dating websites have been helpful for people all over the world. A lot of singles are using it and found their life partner on web. It is the best substitute to the traditional way of finding a partner. It keeps you in contact with other people who have similar interest as yours. The fact is that the conventional way of finding a match is much expensive. There is endless amount of money you need to spend for going out, having dinner, and for gifts. This way of dating saves you from such unnecessary expenses. Also you are saved from the hassles and drama of the real life dating.

Free dating sites are the most excellent platform for the beginners. You can have enough time to know about the entire thing. You will have a vast variety of people there to interact. The number of people you find in such free websites is amazing. They come from different location, faith, and different background. It is of course interesting to meet people in such variety. It is a practical way of dating when you do not have time. Some people complain that they do not even get time for shopping because of their busy schedules. Just imagine how would such an individual possibly find a life partner?

You can easily access to a free dating site if you have a computer and internet connection. You can type the words free online dating web sites, then you will get a number of search results. You can go through them and find a popular one. Yahoo personals, match.com are some of the famous online matchmaking websites. You can even read some reviews about dating web services from internet itself. Having a prior knowledge about its intricacies can be a sure help especially when you are in such big medium.

Hi, I am Suresh Nair. A freelance writer and web designer. I have written many articles on free mature gays dating websites and online singles date. I have given free dating tips for adult friend finder and meet Australia free online dating relationships.

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