Midnight Sweethearts

By Aydan Corkern

 How do you know when your relationship is up in smoke? There are so many ways that will put a freeze or a halt between you and your spouse. You can start to have second thoughts, too many fights, or just don’t have the same feeling for them like you used to. When you really have nothing in common, that can always hurt the relationship.

One of you might not want kids or are scared of the “m” word, which is marriage. They are scared because they don’t want their lives to change or are scared to get tied down. I have heard on the radio that some people have been together for many, many years and still are not married. Some of them don’t really care but a lot of them do, and it is hurting their relationships.

You can be together for years and not know that they are or were cheating on you. They lie and lie to you and you find out from other people that they cheat. This puts a big bomb of smoke right in there. Then you have them watched or you spy on them because you don’t trust them. Sometimes it can be other people living with you like your friends or your family, and it’s causing problems between the two of you. Sometimes the only way to make things better is to force them to move out, especially if they are sneaking around.

With some people, the source of their problems could be their taxes or their bad credit. This can show you that you are not good with money, or you had a very bad strike. It puts smoke in the relationship because a lot of people want to have security. Everyone is different and different things bother them so it’s hard to tell what upsets them and what makes them mad at you. Some people can become moody due to just about anything and it can cause problems between partners. The relationship does not last long, or they have enough and they just leave. If you think that only a few people have problems in their relationship, you’re wrong. Everyone has problems and they fight. It’s a part of life that you just have to work on as much as possible.

Problems can come in words and actions. Do your best to compromise with your partner and odds are good that you can defeat the problems you’re both facing.

Aydan Corkern is a writer of many topics, visit some of her sites, like

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Getting control of your credit and finances
By Dr. Jennifer Baxt, DMFT, NCC, DCC

 In the United States, millions of people are finding themselves in debt. People are now suffering with more debt than they can handle and its causing many to attempt a drastic action; bankruptcy. Many see bankruptcy as a win-win solution for them. They wipe all their debt clean and, in only seven years, they are able to get perfect credit again when the bankruptcy is taken off their record; however, what many people do not realize is that it can stay on your credit score for as much as twelve years.

Getting control of your credit and your finances comes down to one thing; budgeting. Having a budget is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, and your family, because it will give you the ability to look at what you spend and how much you can save. The first task in putting together your budget is to look at your expenses in fine detail. This is an important first step because it will really open your eyes to how much you spend. Many people think nothing of buying a $4.50 latte every single day because they do not see the complete sum of that purchase. It may only be $4.50 a day, but multiplied through the month it comes to $135. That $135 could easily be used for credit card payments, bill payments or to put in savings, instead of buying a latte a day.

The second step in creating your budget and getting control of your finances and credit comes in setting limits for yourself. If you do not set realistic limits, you will be doomed to fail on your budget. Set limits that are attainable and realistic and do not be overly generous with yourself. When you are putting the budget together, you may be tempted to put aside $140 for your lattes, but is it really necessary? Of course, you should make sure you put some money aside if you can for fun items like a movie or going out for dinner once or twice a month.

The third step is to continually review your budget. During the winter you may be paying $100 per month in heating which you will need to budget for, but you wont be paying that in the summer, so why budget for it then? Adjust your budget to reflect the changing circumstances, otherwise it will get out of date and you will have trouble sticking to it.

Lastly, stick to your budget. Your budget is highly important and it is the best bet you have to turning your finances around and improving your credit score. If you do not stick to it, then there is no reason to even do up a budget. By making sure the budget is something you think about at all times, you will find success in controlling your finances. At this point, you will wonder how you ever lived without a budget and why more people do not use this great financial tool to help, or keep, themselves out of debt.

Dr.Jennifer Baxt, works with people who are having trouble with their credit and want to improve their score. We offer solutions to credit problems by removing negative items from credit reports. You can visit our website www.jeb.helpformycredit.com for more information.

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What do you do when you lose your job?
By Dr. Jennifer Baxt, DMFT, NCC, DCC

 Losing a job, regardless of the reasons, can be an extremely stressful time for anyone, especially if finances are tight. With the way things are going in the economy and stock market these days, many employees, even those who have been with the company a long time, are running the risk of losing their jobs. Companies are trying very hard to stay in business; unfortunately, one of the many things they do to accomplish this is to save money by having fewer salaries and wages to pay. They can no longer keep on as many employees, so they lay some of their workforce off.

It can be frustrating, especially for someone who has been with a company for twenty or so years, to be let go. As if the stress of losing the job wasnt bad enough, other worries start to enter the mind, such as where the money is going to come from to pay the rent or mortgage, where the food will come from for the family and so on. It can be, and is, a lot of weight for one, or even two people within the relationship, to handle. Working through it can seem impossible and there only appears to be nothing but difficulties ahead. Hope is lost, the desire to fight through their troubles is gone and the individual falls into debt and mounting stress.

There is hope and there are ways of getting through this kind of difficulty, but it takes one to stop, take a deep breath and look for help. It can help to talk to someone, to help sort through the mess and chaos created by the loss of a stable situation. Many people will immediately jump to the assumption that there is no help for them or their families, and that the only option for them is to accept defeat with any consequences that may come with it. The truth is that there is help out there for anyone who takes a moment to look and ask for it, and its not necessarily by seeking help from a counselor or therapist in person. There are online counselors who are available to anyone who needs help.

Online counseling is available to anyone who can gain access to the internet and is there so that more people can get the help they need. An online counselor will work with anyone who feels that the stress is becoming too much for them to deal with. Many will shy away from going to therapy to find some help, or even to talk to someone, because they feel too uncomfortable about it. Going through online therapy can be easier because while the confidentiality still exists, the person can communicate with an online therapist from the comfort of their own home. Whether it is just to talk with someone, or to find someone to help them get through this hard time in their life, an online therapist is available through chat rooms, chat forums and e-mail.

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Dr. Jennifer Baxt, DMFT, NCC,DCC is the owner of CompleteCounselingSolutions.com which offers a variety of online counseling services. If you would like to know more about Jennifer or any of our online therapists, visit our website.

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